The common phrase “I’m so busy” has become the norm for describing our lives today. We glorify the concept of busyness as if it were some badge of honor. We hide behind the concept of being busy as if we were terrified to be caught doing nothing. So many of us feel it is the right thing to say to others when asked how things are going or in response to being asked to do something. While some people’s lives have spiraled so far out of balance that they are genuinely busy due to taking on too much, either by choice or by chance, most people live in artificial states of busyness. This stems from giving time to tasks and activities that not only do not provide inherent value, like social media scrolling or needless shopping, but actively chip away at our physical and mental health, our relationships, our creativity, and our ability to live with meaning. Not having time for tasks that actually matter should be considered a tragedy and a problem that needs an immediate solution. Yet, sadly most people dismiss it as just a part of modern life.

As such, the concept of being busy is used and abused by us to excuse destructive lifestyles. Not eating right, not cooking or preparing our own food, not exercising, not getting enough sleep and not having time to relax in meaningful ways are all blamed on the fact that we are so busy. The diseased state of busyness has also infiltrated our relationships where we claim we are too busy for our partners, our children, our friends, or just too busy to even socialize in any meaningful way. We are letting our lives literally pass us by due to artificial busyness.

Being busy is no measure of a meaningful, complete, or valuable life. The ability to have time to contemplate life and its many mysteries and to meditate and reflect on our personal lives are nearly extinct concepts today. The best we have today are trendy bandwagons, usually online or app-based, that try to get people to meditate to some content that still provides a distraction from what truly needs our attention in our life. Every time we get caught up in the Matrix of physical reality and create a hectic daily routine, we lose sight of ourselves and of the purpose of life. We run around from one task to another, from one place to another, from one thought to another in an ever-increasing chaotic manner.

Now, look at the consequences of this in our society. Aside from isolated cases, overall, we are experiencing declining health and happiness levels. The irony that is all too often visible is that those of us in the world who not only have our basic needs met but surpassed, are often living lives of a lower quality than those who have much less and are still striving to meet their needs. Unless you have a fulfilling life based on healthy lifestyle choices, creativity, work, and play that gives you (and hopefully our world) true value and wellbeing, most of us are simply running around from one task to the next and distracting ourselves with things that make us “feel” busy, while they suck and drain our time and energy. When we evaluate what we do with our time outside of real and necessary work, home, and family tasks, we find that most of the things we give our time to do not add any meaning or value to our lives or to our world.

If you long for something different, something more wholesome and meaningful, I invite you to bring awareness to how you use the term “busy” in your life. Notice how often you use it, when, where, and with whom.

• The first step to any meaningful change is awareness. We cannot change what we are not aware of or what we do not see as a problem.
• Next, evaluate the tasks that fill each of your days. What is essential that you absolutely must do, like wash and feed yourself, sleep, tend to your family, etc. And what is not essential that takes away so much of your valuable time, like social media scrolling, watching video streaming content, signing up your kids for too many activities, reading the news, etc. Make a plan to consciously minimize and/or eliminate these time time-sucking vortices. When you find yourself gravitating to one of these activities, ask yourself: “What could I be doing instead that would improve the quality of my mental and physical health and my life?”
• Finally, make an intention to use the term “busy” mindfully, in a way that is honest and authentic, and not just a catch-all-phrase that prevents you from living with meaning, wellbeing, and becoming a better version of yourself. Any time you find yourself saying it or thinking it, ask yourself: “What do I mean by being “busy”? What am I spending my time on to cause this?”

Even though many of us feel that our life pushes and pulls on us constantly, it is actually not life, but we who keep doing the pushing and pulling. It is all a combination of our choices, but we also have the choice to change things when we become aware of how dysfunctional our choices have become. So give yourself permission to relax a little more and busy yourself a little less.

Balance Your “I have to-‘s” with “I choose to-‘s”

When we are not living mindfully, we do not realize that all of the things that we think we “must” do are actually things that we have added to our lives and choose to do. For example, must you really go shopping for a new outfit when you have a closet full of perfectly good outfits already? Or must you really enroll your child in 3 extracurricular activities when 1 would be more than sufficient? The examples are many. The solutions are many. The point is that no matter if we are single or managing a 5-person household, the choices we make lead to the outcomes we have in our lives. By trying to keep up with others, by following trends, by trying to fit in, by trying to be accepted, and by being afraid of what others will think or do or what we may be missing out on, we are constantly putting ourselves in dysfunctional situations by doing things that are not actually good for us or those in our care.

When we take an honest inventory of our lives, we began to realize that most of the “have-to’s” that we think we have are actually ones we created or brought into our lives. When you choose to have children or you choose to take a certain job, for example, you are choosing to take on all of the responsibilities also that come with such choices. This is why conscious life creation is the ultimate antidote to living in a chronic state of busyness. The good news is that if we created the problem, then we can also create the solutions. Again, it takes awareness and mindfulness to break out of routines that have us running around in constant states of “busy.”

Yes, there will be certain things that you must do each day, like eat or feed your children, if you want to stay alive or have healthy kids. These things are not the problem. The problem is how we approach such tasks and what else we add to them. The solutions reside in structuring our lives in a way that we have a good balance between things that we actually have to do and things that we choose to do. We need to find a way to enjoy more of the tasks, activities, and functions, of everyday life. We also need to recognize that the busier we are, the more we need quiet time. Likewise, we need to stop doing so many things for the wrong reasons and approach tasks with deliberate action that enrich our life, rather than deplete it.

As you do an inventory and reflect more on your life, yes, there may be things that need to be released from the life that you chose for the wrong reasons. Perhaps you chose a partner to achieve a certain status or perhaps you chose a job to please your parents. Whatever it may be, always know that you are not stuck and that everything can be changed and remedied simply by having the courage to make new choices.

Bring Back Joy for the Sake of Joy

Do you remember when you were a little child the excitement you had when you looked at adults and the lives they lived? Most of us couldn’t wait to grow up and be independent. We couldn’t wait to have our own money and houses and relationships and what have you. These things excited us because we saw the potential of the creative process of life in action. Fast forward a few years and we lost sight of that creative process to the point that now things like a spouse, children, job, or house tire us and often leave us feeling resentful of our lives. Yet our lives are a reflection of our choices!

The answer is not to abandon the life you created up to this point and start fresh. That would not be a very responsible or compassionate thing to do, especially if you have loved ones, like partners, kids, or animals that depend on you. The answer is simply to work with what you have BUT restructure it to allow time for joy, relaxation, and contemplation. And believe me, the time you need is there, it is just a matter of how you use it.

To bring more joy back into your life, start by acknowledging the amazing things you have created to date and be grateful for them. Give an extra hug and kiss to your loved ones. Make an extra effort at your workplace. Honor the body you have at this moment. Then, consider how you can invest more time into the things that you really care about, thanks to releasing so much time that is wasted on things that don’t matter. The more you release the things that drain your time and energy, the more you have time for things that enrich who you are and how you feel.

5 Ways to Relax and Be Less Busy Today

If you keep being busy and continue to excuse such behavior, nothing good will come of it. Your resentment, frustration, cynicism, and unhappiness will only increase. By trying to do everything for your spouse or children, you are actually giving them less of yourself - less of the things that matter most. No one wants to be or live with a person who is chronically drained, grumpy, resentful, and burnt out. Hence, it is so important to take some time for yourself to just relax and connect with who you truly are and what you really want out of life. Consider how much more patient you would be with your loved ones if you were more satisfied with your life and how you spent your time.

Here are 5 ways to relax and unwind to enjoy life a little more:

1. Take a walk outdoors or engage in some other form of low-impact exercise.

Activities like this always get our endorphins flowing, release stress, energize us, and make us feel better. The last thing you want to do is tire yourself out more, so avoid high-impact activities when you are already burned out by being too busy. Nature is also a key factor in all this as our brain and nervous system are able to relax and re-balance in the midst of natural landscapes.

2. Do a mindfulness meditation.

Probably one of the best tools for truly relaxing and unwinding is just to sit in a comfortable place by yourself and observe your mind and body. This kind of meditation does not get you to do anything or force anything. You are essentially just being in the present moment and observing things just as they are, without any force or control. This is deeply healing and also provides incredible insight into who and how you are so that you can know what needs to change or improve.

3. Listen to pleasant music while you do things that you have to.

One of the most uplifting and relaxing things in the world is pleasant and structured music. It can make all the difference in how you feel while you are doing a hard or undesired task. So the next time you are doing the dishes or making food or driving to work or doing any other thing that you do not actively enjoy, add in some pleasant music in the background and allow your mind and body to relax. In time, you will find that you get into a rhythm where may actually start looking forward to some of these tasks because you have found a way to balance them with some joy and levity.

4. Engage in a relaxing body treatment that releases tension.

This can include things like getting a massage at a professional establishment, doing a self-massage of your hands or feet while watching or listening to some content, spending time in a hot Jacuzzi with water jets that can relax your muscles, and even having sex with your partner. All of these are wonderful ways to reduce and release tension from our muscles and enjoy states of being, joy, and greater relaxation.

5. Breathe mindfully.

Anytime you can remember to do so, breathe mindfully where you slow down and deepen your breath on each inhale and exhale. It is one of the most valuable things to do and can be done almost anywhere and anytime. Such breathing provides a more calming and cleansing effect for the body and mind. It allows us to connect with the present moment and releases the tension that states of busyness create, which results in stressful, shallow breathing.

Concluding Thoughts

We have to be aware and acknowledge that if we don’t make different choices and prioritize a good personal balance of “busy doing” with “relaxing being”, then we open ourselves up to all sorts of unwanted consequences from physical and mental illness to burnout and nervous breakdown. Gambling with our health and happiness is not a good idea, especially when we can ensure better results in our lives, simply by making different choices. The key is to prioritize taking care of yourself and your family in meaningful ways. Make time for your mind to rejuvenate by removing or minimizing things that drain and deplete it. And, ultimately, remember that you are a human being, not a human doing.

Your life is not a static, controlled, physical place within which you are enslaved. Your life is dynamic, and as flexible to change, as you allow it to be. Likewise, you were not sent here by some force to drown in a sea of busyness and suffering. Rather, your life plays out based on your choices and co-creations with others.

It is easy to lay blame externally for the busy state of our lives, or blame an unknown force or entity, as having power over the course of our lives. It is easy to condemn the world, the organizations, corporations, governments, and people around us for not being as we want them to be, demanding too much of us, or not meeting our expectations. But are you meeting your own expectations? Are you taking responsibility and accountability for our life experience? What are you doing to improve or deteriorate your life experience?

REFLECTION: I create and experience my own heaven or hell daily based on the thoughts, words, actions, and choices I make.

Heaven and hell are both here and now. Which you create and experience depends on your level of awareness and abilities to utilize your mind effectively, and create your life consciously. The more you gain the awareness to see how you are creating your life experience, the more you shift from being a bystander who watches things unfold, to being a creator who aligns things for their highest wellbeing.

Make your life count by spending time on things that add true value to your life.