What you see in the other, is the clearest mirror for you to know yourself through.
One of the best things that has happened to me during this life creation is the ability to fall in love with myself, or said in another way, appreciate and like who and how I am. This has nothing to do with selfishness or arrogance, and everything to do with self-acceptance, self-worth and self-respect. There is not a doubt in my mind that until a person learns how to “fall in love” with themselves, life will feel very challenging, as we will constantly look to the external to fulfill us. Everything, like our work, food, and relationships will therefore be greatly influenced by how we feel about ourselves. The greater your level of self-acceptance and love, the more everything else outside of you effortlessly falls into place. For example, it is impossible to put junk food or harmful substances into or onto a body that is deeply loved and cared for. Likewise, it is impossible to be in relationships that are toxic for us, when we have enough self-love and self-worth. Things like negative self-talk begin to disappear and get replaced by a respectful, appreciative, and caring self-dialogue that nurture your wellbeing.
Perhaps the biggest advantage of having a healthy amount of self-love is how self-aware it makes you of the connection you have with all life. Said in another way, you realize how much what you do for others, Earth and our world benefits you, and how much what you invest in yourself benefits all of it. We can also only give what we have, so the more love we hold within, the love we ARE, the more love we have to give to everything and everyone. You recognize your place as part of the whole—one with all life. You come to realize that everything is a part of you, and if you love yourself, it would not make sense to hurt any part of yourself intentionally. And so, how to act or treat others then becomes easy. We don’t have to think about doing the right thing, we simply are the right thing—LOVE via our thoughts, words and actions, towards all that comes our way. Therefore, the first quality relationship I have is with myself.
Once I got on the journey of becoming whole, rather than looking for someone to complete me, I attracted the perfect being for me who has become my life partner — my husband. Since this being entered my life, back in January 2005, it catapulted into action a profound spiritual awakening (and remembering) for us both. Within a short time we came to realize that this was no fairytale romance or initial honeymoon phase, but rather it was the result of conscious life planning before and during this physical incarnation that brought us back to each other yet again.
My husband is not only the most amazing and perfect life partner I could ever ask for, but also my best friend, business partner, and soul companion. Our marriage is anything but typical, hence I often find it ineffective to use the word “husband”, and prefer to opt for partner. Our relationship has provided us with the ability to experience oneness and form a true unity. It constantly teaches me and propels me further on my journey of self-realization and self-actualization, and is the best reflection I have for me to know myself.
On a practical level, part of what makes our relationship work so well is our conscious commitment to consistent, honest, and peaceful communication, full transparency, respect, and trust. We are clear on one very important point: we are on the same team, and thus always supporting each other and co-creating together. Laughter, joy, admiration, appreciation, and gratitude are essential parts of each day for us. We are both highly independent individuals who choose to want to, rather than need to be together, and ironically enough we are inseparable. We simply enjoy each other’s company that much, and this was one of the many reasons that inspired us to change our lifestyle from the common work schedules that have partners going off in different directions for most of the day, to a lifestyle where we can have the freedom to enjoy each other and our time in this life together fully, freely, and abundantly each day.
We are fully committed to each other and this life journey, and are also very clear on what we are here to do and experience. Throughout the years we have been asked about having children, and while we have a profound love and appreciation for all children, we have a clear knowing that this is not part of our journey for this lifetime, and thus have consciously chosen not to have children.
Over the course of my journey, I have also come to fall in love deeply with our human race and Earth family, despite its many shortcomings. I know that we are in our infancy of spiritual evolution and all too often act out in destructive ways, but I see the incredible potential we all have. This is one of the biggest reasons why I have chosen to do what I do today — help others awaken to their highest potential and make the most of the physical experience and spiritual evolution that they came here to have.
However, as much as I value interactions with others, my inner being thrives on and prefers solitude and immersion in the natural world. Given the format of my educational work this can of course be a challenge, as I have numerous interactions with others daily, both online and in person. While each interaction has a purpose and can be enriching, the sheer volume of these can become overwhelming, and so I always aim to maintain healthy personal boundaries. I do not seek to fill my life with many people, and the social scene is not something that I have been attracted to for many, many years now. I have learned over the years that I am highly empathic and sensitive to people’s energies and can sense, perceive, and feel deeply below the surface of any person or situation. If I lived in a coherent and loving world, this would be a wonderful asset to have, but given the fear- and pain-filled nature of life in this reality for most humans, it can be a heavy burden to bear. The sheer weight and depth of human emotion, especially when it is chaotic and negative, as is most often the case for modern humans, takes great skill to handle and is best experienced in small doses. Therefore, I prefer interacting with the world from a distance, and always discern with whom and how I invest my energy.
Today, any close relationships I choose to invest in are heart-centered, and based on a deep level of authenticity, transparency, freedom and independence, rather than dependence. I enjoy relationships that are not riddled with expectations or fear-based attachments. I’ve been very clear from a young age that I did not come into this physical experience this time around to cultivate or entertain drama, hence I do not invite this into my life on any level. This does not mean that I love some people less than others. It simply means that I gift each being the freedom to be and express themselves as they wish, and I gift myself the same in return. Oftentimes, our Earth family misunderstands that in order to love, like, or respect someone, we have to have them directly in our life and interact with them in a certain way. True unconditional love, however, is boundless, and one of the most loving things we can do for the self and others, is to let each person express who they choose to be, while not sacrificing the need to express who we choose to be. Inadvertently, this comes right back to the self-love I shared about above.
Finally, one of my most sacred relationships, which is nurtured and cultivated daily, is with nature. Aside from the numerous furry and feathery wild friends that I have in my life, and regularly spend time with, I have a deep reverence, friendship and union with all living beings. In the early part of my awakening journey, I was deeply called into nature and chose to live in a remote and natural setting amidst the forests and lakes. Nature, not cities or man-made spaces, is where I feel most at home today on our Earth, and get to experience the most and best of my true Self.
My relationship with nature, however, is not about “liking” being outdoors, or taking a walk in the park. While those are wonderful things, I have come to understand my relationship with nature as nothing short of a sacred bond. It is my life sustenance. It supports me, nourishes me, revitalizes me, and uplifts me. It is my source of wonder, awe, joy and magic. The pureness of its energy and essence invigorates my being. It is my teacher, my friend, and my source of wisdom. Nature supports me wholly and unconditionally, and it is one of my greatest joys and passions to give it as much love and care, as it has given me. We are each other’s care takers.